Late Night Feels:
Every so often I start to look back on pictures of my sister and all the fun times we had. I tend to over think things to the max. The funeral home recorded the funeral I spoke,, I mean after writing a mental funeral talk for 10 plus years, how could I not.
On these long nights of laying in my room, now empty with no hospital bed, no wheelchair and now more John Bytheway I listen to the talk I gave at her funeral, in a really strange way it brings me peace and reminds of all the awesome things, my sister did and how smart she was, I mean for only having half a brain, she was pretty dang smart, with the fact of her was not supposed to live past four years old, she learned to count, write letters, look at her sight words, walk in her walker down the long hallways of MV only to Taylor Swift of course even though she was confined to a wheelchair she did SO much, her limitations didn't hold her back. My senior year I was blessed to be her peer tutor, I loved every minute, I'm not sure she loved i because she learned how to "cheat the system" her peer tutors at Mountain View would sometimes think she couldn't do it, because she would start throwing a fit, and she totally knew what she was doing, I would go in there and they would all be amazed like I had just pulled a rabbit out of my backpack, I could get her to do more things than most people.
I start playing soccer for Salt Lake Community College next a week and with that, there comes the dreaded fitness testing which I am so scared of. I've realized that if Kathryn, the girl who was confined to a wheelchair, who had to work just count, who would only walk if she was listening to Taylor Swift can do all of these things, the fighter who fought to the very end, can do all the things that she did in her life and be oh so happy about it, I can run my fitness test, even if that means I throw up, and can't move the next day, I can do it, because I come from a family of fighters. If Kathryn can do all of those things and be HAPPY I can do my fitness testing on Tuesday and be HAPPY.
I found a letter written to a sibling as a special needs sibling, I couldn't have written it better, I just want to share a part that is in the letter.
"How about getting to see your sibling reach a milestone and that proud feeling that overcomes your body? You get to experience a friendship like no other. Your sibling completely and utterly trusts and loves you with a love that can penetrate the coldest heart. They look at you with those beautiful eyes and know you’re there for them no matter what. The bond you have is indescribable. You’re their sibling, their friend, and their protector. Your sibling might not speak verbally, but we both know your hearts together carry on conversations us adults could never possibly understand. And I tell you what, we’re so extremely jealous." -https://themighty.com/2014/12/a-letter-to-special-needs-siblings/
This sums up who the K&M sisters are/we're. We are sisters, just with a twist...
That's all for now,